Love at First Sight is Not for Me

There's one thing I've discovered about love, can sneak up on you at the most unexpected times. 

I do believe you can be instantly attracted to someone, but love at first sight seems shallow.  Maybe it isn't love, but lust at first sight!    Personally, I find it unstable.  It knocks me off my feet.  I can't think clearly.  My emotions are erratic, off the charts!  I can't think, eat or sleep. I become the person I don't want to be.  It does me no good.  It's like being on drugs.  High one moment, coming down from that high.......BAMMM!.  This is the world's definition of love.  Songs and magazine articles praise this type of crazy love.  I find it disturbing.

True love is much deeper and expands over time.  It's time spent with one another developing a relationship based on mutual respect, consideration, support and concern for each other's needs.  This type of love brings peace, removes selfishness, and inspires one to become a better individual.  This is the true love that surprises when it comes, unexpectantly.

Don't Awaken Love Before Its Time

I recently heard a minister define the word intimacy as "into me see".

We all long to share our lives with someone special.  However, you must be mindful to whom you open your heart to.  Opening your heart gives that person access to the most private parts of yourself, therefore making you vulnerable.  There are those who would take your open heart and wound it by using manipulation, deception and control.  This leaves you brokenhearted, distrustful of others and doubting yourself. 

There is a verse in the Bible in the Song of Solomon that says, don't awaken love before its time.  Recently, I experienced the meaning of this verse.  I had opened my heart to the wrong person.  Now, I didn't know it was the wrong person at the time, but in hindsight, I see where I made my mistake.  I didn't take the time to know this person or seek the Lord for insight into this person's character.  I was deceived.  If you ask God to reveal the truth, He will.  I had opened the door and it was up to me to shut it.  Although there was no physical contact between me and that person, I had allowed this person to see into me (my heart), which left me vulnerable, brokenhearted and mad at myself.  I was awakening love before its time.  It wasn't time because this person was not the one.

I cut off all ties with that person and refocused my attention on the Lord.  Not only did I ask the Lord to reveal the truth about this person, I asked him to show me myself!  Boy, did He!  I had to repent and consider the condition of my heart.  I had unforgiveness and offense in my life which caused me to take my eye off of God, which opened the door to the possibility of sin.  Thank God for His mercy and grace.  He is the healer!

Always stay in relationship with God.  Always seek Him when it comes to matters of the heart.  He knows the truth about every situation.  Believe His word.  It's there for a reason.....to save you from heartache and sin. He is the mender of brokenhearts.

Men are distracting

Let's face it ladies, men are distracting.  The moment one comes into our lives, we compromise, compromise and compromise to the point where we lose sight of our goals and ourselves.   Don't misunderstand me.  I love men and would like to be married again, but not at the cost of aborting my God given purpose.  My hope is to marry someone who will recognize the call on my life and support it.  I would definitely support his call.

The Giver of Dreams

I wrote this poem during a time of disappointment.  Proverbs 13:12 described exactly how I felt.  I've discovered that my hope is in Him and He will fulfill my desires His way.

The Giver of Dreams

As my dreams crumble and turn into dust,

I search for my savior, the one whom I trust.

My heart grows sick as my hope is deferred,

Searching eagerly for solace in every written word.

I find my savior, the lover of my soul,

Letting go of my will, giving Him full control.

For a time I lost sight of the one I must lean,

the lover of my soul, the giver of dreams.

Kimbal



Why?

Ever ask God why?  This is my cry at the moment.  I don't understand and I need an answer.  I'm anxious at the moment.  God, I need understanding.  However, I know you are merciful and there is a reason behind it.  Please give me peace.  Your love endures forever!

Fear Looks, Faith Leaps

Hmmm.....I liked Doctora's comment on a previous post - Fear looks, faith leaps.  When God leads us to do something, why does fear take over?  Why do we analyze every possibility of failure?  Why do we make up excuses as to why we're not capable of doing it? 

I immediately think about Jeremiah, the prophet.  In the first chapter (Jeremiah 1: 4-10) God tells Jeremiah he is called to speak to nations.  God had deposited this calling in Jeremiah before he was placed in his mother's womb!  As a matter of fact, God had ordained him to do it!  Jeremiah's first response was "God how can I do this?  I'm too young!"  God proceeded to tell him not to consider his age.  All Jeremiah had to do was to be obedient and the Lord would tell him where to go and what to say!  God also told Jeremiah to not fear the faces of the people because He would be with him and deliver him.  God had his back!

I can imagine Jeremiah's fear.  Can you just imagine the questions rolling around his head?  "What can I do?  I'm a captive just like everyone else!  I'm just a kid.  Why would they listen to me?  What if they stone me or worse, kill me?"  Jeremiah was obedient.  (Read Jeremiah)

Well, I have had the same reaction as Jeremiah.  He immediately gave God an excuse as to why he couldn't do it!  When God directed me to do something that was way out of my comfort zone, I freaked!  Immediately fear crept in and played several scenarios of failure in my mind.  Fear questions everything.  Fear looks for the possibility of failure.  Fear makes up excuses.  Fear paralyzes you.  Fear causes disobedience.  Fear causes you to be out of the will of God!  Well, I had a contract with fear.  We agreed that if anything was uncomfortable, scary or too hard, we wouldn't do it.  I was such a wimp.  Fear was satisfied.  I was always afraid of getting hurt or getting embarrassed.  Fear had me exactly where it wanted me:  ineffective for the kingdom of God.

My disobedience had opened the door to hardship and heartache.  I had to repent to my Father.  I would love to say that I was disobedient only once, but I can't.  I've done it several times!  I have learned that fear took over because I didn't really trust God.  Unfortunately, our experiences with man can have an effect on our relationship with God.  I believed that since man let me down, God would let me down.  Phew! It took me a while to understand that God is not like man!  I can trust Him.  I can believe that Jesus was sent to set the captives free.  I was definitely a captive of fear!

I became set free from fear by being obedient to God.  He placed me in situations in which He was the only one I could trust.  Trust is gained, by establishing a relationship.  As I grew closer to God, my trust in Him grew.  I started to do things even when it scared me.  I knew God had my back. 

I love what Joyce Meyers says, "Do it afraid".  Once God told me to approach a woman and tell her that He loved her.  I was so scared.  My knees were knocking!  Literally!  Well, I did it.......she cursed me out!  I was so embarrassed and hurt!  Walking away, I asked God why He wanted me to do that when He knew what would happen!   Silence.  I was so angry!  Guess what?  I had to do it again!  Not all the responses were positive, however, I got the point.  He was working on my obedience and fear issues. 

Think about all that Jesus went through.  He was not popular with everyone! He made a lot of people angry, but He was obedient to His heavenly Father.

Has fear caused you to be disobedient?  Are you willing to be obedient?  Are you willing to draw near to your heavenly Father to be set free from fear?  

"The Lord is close to those who are of a broken heart and saves such as are crushed with sorrow for sin and are humbly and thoroughly penitent" (Ps. 34:18, Amp).  This is my favorite verse.  Many may think its a depressing scripture.  However, for me, its one of the most exciting and uplifting verses in the Bible.  

My heart has been broken many times over the years.  Heartbroken over love, missed opportunities, disappointments, family, etc.  Through it all, the Lord has always been near, comforting me, loving me.  When I had sorrow over my sin, He was there, waiting for me to seek Him out, waiting with open arms to tell me I was forgiven.  I love how my Father searches every part of my being for areas that need His healing touch.  Only He knows how to mend my broken heart.  Are you willing to allow Him to heal yours?  He will not do it without your permission.

Reach out to Him.  He's waiting.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you. (James 4:8)

His love is truly amazing.  I know that sounds like a cliche', but its true.  You are more than what you see in the mirror.  You were especially made by your heavenly Father to fulfill a purpose.  There is no one like you and you're the only one who can fulfill it.  You were created to complete His plan.  Ah, I can hear you now.  You may be wondering, "What about what I want?"  Well, I've discovered that what we want isn't always beneficial for us.  Sometimes it can cause more harm than good.  We can also miss out on something fantabulous because we want to have things our way.

Read Psalm 139.  You are fearfully and wonderfully made!  That means everything, your spirit, personality and desires.  He placed godly desires in you!  The things of this world perverts them.  Draw near to Him, He will show you the desires He has placed in your heart, not your head.  Trust in this:  He knows what it will take to make you truly happy and fulfilled.  Draw near to God and He will draw near to you (James 4:8).

My questions for you are:  Do you believe you are doing what God created you to do?  Are you fulfilling His purpose in it or spinning your wheels?  Are you willing to allow God to exchange your will for His will?